If old Bodhidharma was right, and one should look at every problem like a gift from the Tao… then this factory life of mine is it. This factory life has challenged me, depressed me, taken years off my life probably. However, through these challenges I have grown, become stronger, somewhat wiser, and supported a family. It has inspired countless poems, prose, sound art, etc. The muse isn’t always beautiful.
More often than not I fail to see any of that though. More often than not I fail.
But even Bodhidharma knew this wasn’t an easy task. He advised tolerance and patience not just with fellow man, but with yourself.
It’s easy to find peace and introspection in meditation or on the yoga mat. The challenge is to take that peace and introspection with you throughout the day, especially in times of stress or adversity. That is where the spiritual growth lies, that is where I aim to be. Rather than letting these situations mold me, I shall mold them. That is the goal, anyway.
The name of this blog is Broken Zen, this term goes all the way back to youth with notebooks full of bad poetry and right there scribbled on the cover is the title “Broken Zen”. I think back then it was a reference to the nihilism of youth along with my trademark self-deprecation, my aspirations grounded by my negative self-worth. Now years later and middle-aged though I see things differently. My Zen is broken, but it’s okay. It’s Wabi Sabi! It’s like a work of kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken pottery back together with lacquer and gold powder, giving them new life more beautiful than before not by concealing, but by embracing and highlighting their imperfections.
This old factory, I sit here now in the dead of night slurping black coffee, typing this into the computer, and I’m reminded of the saying “He who doesn’t live in the now, lives nowhere.” The past is a dream, and the future doesn’t exist, there is only now… and every buzz and hiss of all the machines in my lab seem to scream now, now, now. This is my now… right here.
This classic Zen koan is pertinent here:
Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water
After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water
Echoing a similar theme, I penned recently:
A factory worker is Buddha-nature
A factory worker is not Buddha-nature
They are going to work either way
Anyway, thanks for reading my ramble. In other news I am working on some fresh writing that I am very excited with. I have also been tweaking knobs and appear to have enough soundscape material already for a new album. 2024 is looking better already.
Broken Zen 